Hormones... God awful hormones. The past year and a half has been the first time in a long time since I was off of some sort of birth control and it is hell. My emotions are on an uncontrolable roller coaster ride. I was doing research and I seriously am concerned that I may have PMDD, it is a severe form of PMS. On ths Mayo Clinic website it said if you had 2 of the symptoms of the around 12 that they listed you may have it.. I had all except one. I dont know what to do with myself, this cycle is eating away at me. I get SO low about the week or two before my period and it feels like once I start to feel totally better it is already the week or two when I start feeling low again. Chasing my tail.

Tonight was the first time in 7 years I actually felt like a loser for working where I do. A girl from HS came in and she seemed to be doing very well, and looked down her nose at me. Wow. I felt, and still feel a bit down because of that (and guess what time of the month is closing in?). I hate that I work so hard and I still struggle so much. I hate lots of things right now, and for the most part the only thing that picks me up is my baby girl. She is the best remedy to anything. Hopefully when I pick her up tomorrow it helps me feel better.