In the last entry I wrote about the new position at work and how I feel I have many obstacles to overcome; today is no different. This week I got two days off, well kind of. In my days off I have had to call in various orders and speak to different vendors, work on the schedule, and speak with my "assistant" (don't worry, we"ll get there) managers several times.
When weighing out the pros and cons of if I wanted to take the position I already knew that I would have to work long hours and lots of days during the season, but didn't really anticipate being so busy during this slow time of the year. I wish that I could just hold a staff meeting and say "thanks for nothing, here is your final check. Have a nice life." I know that essentially I can let everyone go because we are an "at will employer" but I also know that I have no real reason for this- yet. I have started accepting applications, which is pretty unheard of for this time of year, and plan to start calling and setting up interviews next week. There will be SO many changes that I want to have a fresh, eager, trainable, moldable staff- something I don't have now.
My daughter was asking all day today and yesterday if I would take her to my work, and I just really couldn't bring myself to step foot in there. I knew I would start working and it would distract from my precious time with her. I realized that I will have to adjust my schedule big time so that I can make the most of the time in each day. I will have to dedicate a few hours of one of my days off each week to getting my work done so that I can spend the rest of the two (hopefully) days OFF.
Well, I certainly don't feel done venting and expressing all my jumbled thoughts, but I'm off to watch my baby niece! :)
December 9, 2011
December 6, 2011
Big, exciting, stressful, beneficial, wonderful, crazy changes.
I know that the title seems a bit dramatic and much, but that is the best way I could think to sum up my life right now.
I got a promotion at work.. I am now the Kitchen MANAGER!! With that promotion came a nice raise and even better, health care for myself and my little one. How cool! The down side to this is that the previous manager (and former friend) was very close with the crew, and that makes this transition more difficult for me than it typically would be. The crew consists of mostly teenagers, or people who have been there since they were about 17, and they all called this manager "Mamaz" (that alone is an indication of SO much).
I have had several employees leave their employment with us, either voluntarily or not, due to this. At the moment I feel so stressed about all of the pressure. There is so much to be done and it feels like it all rests on my shoulders. I have peers and a GM who are all willing to help if I need it, but ultimately this all falls on me. There are safety policies and procedures that have to be developed and put into effect, as well as proper training, inventory, ordering and maintaining the equipment. Lots of this was not done well before so I have to do much of it from scratch and clean up the mess along the way, so to speak.
As I type about it I think "wow, what a fun adventure!" And I mean it wholeheartedly, and then I get to work and the "team" is there rooting against me, and I feel alone in my efforts and it gets overwhelming for a minute. I know as it goes it will get easier but it doesn't feel easy now. It feels like the title of this blog, magnified.
I recognize to see a lot of the change that I hope to see I am going to have to replace the crew. This is not an easy thing for me. That means that these people will be losing their jobs. Some of them I have known for years, and used to consider close friends. Lots happened between then and now to change that consideration but it still doesn't make this easy.
It is easy for me to say, "It's not personal." but I do take it personally. I feel like I thought I would have more support from people who were harassed and ostracized for not being in the "click" but I don't. As I go further into this change I see how much more of a mess it is than I originally thought it was going to be. Today I found a box molded to the ground in our dry storage... That is how bad it had gotten. UGH! I feel like I should grab a coffee and go there now to work on it. I almost feel like I am going to be obsessed with this.. I want to make sure it all runs smoothly, cleanly, properly, efficiently, and turns a profit while doing so... simple, right?
I also am planning to start hunting for a place with my best friend, Danielle. She is going to be moving out for the first time ever and I am looking for somewhere that can be more permanent for Kyleigh and I. Dani has mentioned getting a 6 month lease to ensure we are happy with the situation, place etc. I would like to find a place that I could still afford on my own if she chooses to move after 6 months. I don't want to keep moving. I want to give stability to myself and most importantly, my daughter. We are planning on starting to look for a place soon with a goal move out date of the month of February.
With the thought of moving out comes the stress of my credit. It used to be so good. Last year when my hours got cut and I had to go to the ER with no insurance I acquired $8,000 in hospital bills that I could not pay and have since gone into collections. I am so worried that my credit has taken a HUGE hit, and I don't even know what to do to fix that one? I also will have about $18,000 of student loans to begin paying on in January as well as my school now saying I owe them something like $1400 and I have no idea what I "owe" them for that wasn't added to my $18,000 worth of loans.. Man, what a mess. I have tried to get into contact with the school and feel like I get no where with them, which is also why I stopped going.
Literally ALL of these thoughts spiral through my head on a daily basis, as well as whatever tasks/issues I am dealing with in the moment... It's no wonder I feel stressed.
I got a promotion at work.. I am now the Kitchen MANAGER!! With that promotion came a nice raise and even better, health care for myself and my little one. How cool! The down side to this is that the previous manager (and former friend) was very close with the crew, and that makes this transition more difficult for me than it typically would be. The crew consists of mostly teenagers, or people who have been there since they were about 17, and they all called this manager "Mamaz" (that alone is an indication of SO much).
I have had several employees leave their employment with us, either voluntarily or not, due to this. At the moment I feel so stressed about all of the pressure. There is so much to be done and it feels like it all rests on my shoulders. I have peers and a GM who are all willing to help if I need it, but ultimately this all falls on me. There are safety policies and procedures that have to be developed and put into effect, as well as proper training, inventory, ordering and maintaining the equipment. Lots of this was not done well before so I have to do much of it from scratch and clean up the mess along the way, so to speak.
As I type about it I think "wow, what a fun adventure!" And I mean it wholeheartedly, and then I get to work and the "team" is there rooting against me, and I feel alone in my efforts and it gets overwhelming for a minute. I know as it goes it will get easier but it doesn't feel easy now. It feels like the title of this blog, magnified.
I recognize to see a lot of the change that I hope to see I am going to have to replace the crew. This is not an easy thing for me. That means that these people will be losing their jobs. Some of them I have known for years, and used to consider close friends. Lots happened between then and now to change that consideration but it still doesn't make this easy.
It is easy for me to say, "It's not personal." but I do take it personally. I feel like I thought I would have more support from people who were harassed and ostracized for not being in the "click" but I don't. As I go further into this change I see how much more of a mess it is than I originally thought it was going to be. Today I found a box molded to the ground in our dry storage... That is how bad it had gotten. UGH! I feel like I should grab a coffee and go there now to work on it. I almost feel like I am going to be obsessed with this.. I want to make sure it all runs smoothly, cleanly, properly, efficiently, and turns a profit while doing so... simple, right?
I also am planning to start hunting for a place with my best friend, Danielle. She is going to be moving out for the first time ever and I am looking for somewhere that can be more permanent for Kyleigh and I. Dani has mentioned getting a 6 month lease to ensure we are happy with the situation, place etc. I would like to find a place that I could still afford on my own if she chooses to move after 6 months. I don't want to keep moving. I want to give stability to myself and most importantly, my daughter. We are planning on starting to look for a place soon with a goal move out date of the month of February.
With the thought of moving out comes the stress of my credit. It used to be so good. Last year when my hours got cut and I had to go to the ER with no insurance I acquired $8,000 in hospital bills that I could not pay and have since gone into collections. I am so worried that my credit has taken a HUGE hit, and I don't even know what to do to fix that one? I also will have about $18,000 of student loans to begin paying on in January as well as my school now saying I owe them something like $1400 and I have no idea what I "owe" them for that wasn't added to my $18,000 worth of loans.. Man, what a mess. I have tried to get into contact with the school and feel like I get no where with them, which is also why I stopped going.
Literally ALL of these thoughts spiral through my head on a daily basis, as well as whatever tasks/issues I am dealing with in the moment... It's no wonder I feel stressed.
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