What do you do when you want to talk, but to reach out feels selfish? I don't have the answer to that so I am going to just blog instead and hope it makes me feel better. 

I am here dangling from the edge of this cliff and no one even knows. They are all walking on the sidewalk right beside me, and I could call out to them but to be honest I am not sure I want to. Letting go of the ledge would free me of so much pain. But letting go would mean causing more pain for the ones I love, so to let go makes me feel selfish too. So, I guess for now I will hang here and suffer in silence; eventually something has got to give.

I wish that I could let go of control enough to just have a freak out. Cry, scream, maybe break something. For some reason I just can't do it. 

I think I need help. Something more than the counseling, because I ??? I guess I just do. 

I'll be ok, I just needed to vent.