Hair Bow Madness!

After making those frames I really felt like crafting! I wanted to find a way to make a little bit of money while doing something I like so while browsing http://www.etsy.com/ I decided that I'd try to make some hair bows. I went and got the supplies and got to complete about 10 or so. Out of the ones I finished I like 2 pairs. I am going to put pictures up a little while later, cause I dont know how to from my phone!

*Edit: I made one more batch tonight, and I am much happier with the new ones! 

These are the ones I liked from the first batch.

And these are all of the ones from tonight. 

I hope everyone is doing good. Things are ok here. I am still dealing with everything, and I am finding that people will do things to make it harder if you allow them to. I won't be allowing that anymore though. I have to stop putting the feelings of others over my own. It is a tough thing to do but it will be so worth it :)! Until later, I hope you all have a great day and HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2011 is going to be great!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope everyone had a good time today. I did. I have the best little girl a mom could ask for. She was so happy and had a great time today. Everyone was very good to her and I feel thankful to have people around who love her so much. She is so full of love and happiness it is amazing to me!

I think that as she gets older I am going to make it tradition to do some kind of charity work around the holidays so that she understands how blessed and lucky she is to have what she has. I dont want her to take it for granted.

I think my blog has taken the place of my facebook. I feel like an addict who has replaced one addiction with another :-\ ohhh man. I am starting to feel better and I'd like to attribute that, at least a little bit, to my lack of facebook. Its good to just live and not worry so much about something so trivial. It is also good not to feel the "pressures" of facebook. When I say that I do realize how immature it sounds, but I think we all have felt that feeling of I don't really want to add this person but I work with them, or they are my mom's cousin, or put up this, or be tagged in that location, etc. etc. etc. I just feel done with it. The nosey side of me does miss it but really, that is almost like the addicted part of me trying to get my "fix". I think I am going to keep it deleted for longer than Jan 1st. We'll see how well that works out!

It's time for me to get some rest and try to let my body kick this cold in the toosh! Have a good one!

Snot Face!

Why that title?? Does anyone remember that movie, Drop Dead Fred? I loved that when I was little! Its one of those movies you watch when you are older in shock that you even were allowed to watch it! Haha! I didnt even begin to have any clue what most of the jokes were about back then. But now I do and its still funny, just in a different way lol. Anywho the title is what the girl/woman's imaginary friend called her. Lol

For the first time that I can recall, it looks like I am going to be sick on Christmas. My daughter was/is sick but seems to be getting over it, so I hope I get over it as quickly as her (a couple of days). Lots of people in my family have come down with this so Christmas should be an interesting one this year.

In other news, I got 5 of those frames completed in 2 days!! I thought it would take me much longer but I liked it so much it was hard to put them down! Now I find my mind wandering to different designs I'd like to try out!

I still have gifts to wrap up before its time to tear into them. Lol. My little one already keeps walking up to the gifts trying to get the unwrapping underway. So far we are only down one bow. Haha. Luckily she gets caught every time! I hope everyone has a good rest of their week/holiday!

Got some frames done in time for Christmas!

Here are the ones I have completed, as promised. I am going to be giving these as gifts for Christmas. I think that making these frames is really simple and fun!

I will be giving this one to my daughter's Grandma.

This is going to be given as a gift also.

If you are on a limited budget and like to craft, these are a great gift idea. The frames can be found at Michaels for $1 each. They don't have glass so I went to the dollar store and bought some 4x6 frames to take the glass from. It worked like a charm! I already had some of the stuff I used, but found myself purchasing new embellishments to use (Michaels is my crack, lol!) I will be making 3 others also. After purchasing the frames and supplies I needed I spent about $45. I will be getting 5 gifts out of the $45 purchase, making the cost of each one around $9. Not bad!

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, if I don't get a chance to post before then.

Feeling Crafty

I was browsing my friend Crystal's blog, and found these frames that she makes. They are so cute! I decided that I will use my TWO! WHOLE! WEEKS! off of school to try and make one of these. I am not sure how it will turn out but I talked to Crystal about how she does it and I also looked up some stuff online and it shouldn't be too hard, especially since I already Scrapbook. When they are done I will post pictures and let you know how it goes!

I am, again, sitting here at work bored out of my mind! I just got back from my yummy sushi lunch break. I went with my good friend and we decided to share our normal two rolls as well as embark on trying a new one, good choice! I am now pleasantly stuffed and sleepy!

I got one of my final grades back already from an online class. It was bittersweet. I know that I could have had a very high A in that class, but decided to slack off for a week so I got a B. I am bitter that I didn't just stick with it and get a great grade, but very happy that I managed to still get a B. Hopefully I will have a final grade soon for my other online class. As for the on ground classes, I have two weeks off (YESS!) then go back to take finals, so in about the second week of January I should know what my final grades are! I am ready to move on to another quarter and learn some new stuff. Hopefully I get good classes!

Well I am going to go and try to find something productive to do with the rest of my day. OHMYGOSH!! As I was typing this out the wind was blowing so hard outside it started to shake the building. I am on the second floor and I almost had a dang heart attack!! Hopefully this weather calms down a little bit so my poor heart doesn't give out!

Swirling around in my mind.

I am sitting here at my desk at work. If that is what you want to even call it, I only come in two days a week and field the random questions that people may or may not call with. I try to make a point of being extra nice to the potential guests that call because more often than not the customer service within the building is lacking. We recently changed management in one of our departments so it is on the way to improving, but this is only one of our many departments that is getting better.

I just got back from my weekly counseling session. I enjoy going in and talking and not feeling judged. I talk way more freely with my counselor than with most others because I know that the information I am throwing out has to be caught and put away, not thrown to someone else. But even knowing that there is confidentiality I still am a little guarded going in. There is a wall that I have up with pretty much everyone, and I am working on learning how to open the gate, and more importantly, when it is ok to do so. It seems more often than not, when I open up to someone it blows up in my face. I think that it is only fair to attribute some of that to pure bad judgement. I think that I sometimes open up to the wrong people. I say sometimes because there are times when people who shouldn't use my feelings against me, thus reinforcing my resistance to sharing.

This appointment was a good one. I went in and didn't hold back. I just put what I wanted to discuss this week out there and I felt so much better walking out then I did going in. I also realized that I am a controller. I think that sometimes (subconsciously) I make choices based on reactions I think/know I am going to get from people because it puts the ball in my court on a consistent basis. If the ball is in my court I have control over who I am going to throw it to (if at all) and when it will be shot towards the hoop. This often times is at the expense of others to save my own feelings. Instead of feeling vulnerable I will hurt someone to hide in my shell with my ball. This is definitely something that I hope to change or recognize when I am doing it so that I can try to work on it. I don't realize I do it until looking back.

On to something less heavy to hold.

Christmas is only 7 days away! Can you even believe it?? I feel like this year has flown by!

I have made lots of progress towards a career goal, so that is very encouraging for me. (I am going to try my hardest to focus on the positive things in life from now on- wish me luck!) I have made progress in my emotional life as far as beginning to open up to others and feel better about it. (I actually spoke to my Mom about some of what I have been feeling for the first time ever in my life, and it went well!!) I went out of my comfort zone and went to a night club with one of my oldest friends and had a blast!! Things are good. I have to focus on the good, and deal with the rest as it comes. I can't spend all this time worrying about it and trying to control everything so it doesn't fall apart. I like in the Katy Perry song Firework where she says "Maybe the reason why All the doors are closed So you could open one That leads you to the perfect.." (room/road? LOL) I think that is the way I need to start looking at things again. It all happens for a reason and I want to try and see the positive in it all. I used to be so good at that, and I will be again.

I think this is all for now. I should probably try to find something productive to do here! :o) Thanks for reading, I hope it all wasn't too random to follow!

My first iPhone post!

I usually post from my computer, but it is not within reach right now and I don't want to leave the comfort of my blankets to get it, so tonight the iPhone is going to do all the talking for me!

I went Christmas shopping with my daughter's dad tonight and it actually went ok. We are finally at this place where we can talk, sometimes joke even, and get things done. We went to a couple places and grabbed some alright stuff for K. We both feel like she is at this in between age where the toys recommended for her age are too baby-like and the ones for just above her age are too old for her. Maybe it is just us. Maybe we are fighting seeing that she is growing up and we have to allow her to. I cant believe that she is going to be 2 in less than 6 months! How scary! She is my baby and I wish I could make her stop growing!! Tonight she was laying on my shoulder and said, "I yuh baby." I almost cried. I said, "Yes, you are my baby and I love you!" she then told me she loved me too and cuddled me some more. How much more perfect could that very moment have been?? I dont think it could have. Amazing.

I am so tired. Usually I take naps with K but it takes up way too much time in my day to do that daily. I have mastered getting her to fall asleep without me doing so also. I think I am going to go to sleep now! Have a good day!

So much deeper than I thought.

Today while I was cleaning the house for the millionth time (I'm sure many of you can relate) something popped into my head. I think that I may have heard it before. Pretty sure I have, actually. "You live and you learn. Once you stop learning you might as well stop breathing." If that is already a quote, I don't know who to give the credit to, so forgive me. :)

 I feel like I have to remind myself constantly of the fact that everyone is living and learning (hopefully learning, that is). I think that making mistakes, and learning from them, is a critical part of growing up and maturing. Having said that I don't allow myself the same courtesy. I feel like as a mother I should just have it all together. The fact that my Mother most certainly did not "have it all together" makes the pressure that much more of a burden. I love my Mom now, she is clean and more of a mother to me now than ever before in my 23 years of life. But this wasn't always the case and now I am trying to deal with the scars that remain. I never want my daughter to have to feel like she is anything other than a blessing in my life. So many times before when I was young I felt like I was a mistake or an unnecessary burden, and unfortunately there were times when those feelings were confirmed to me. As I grew those feelings became more and more prevalent, the more I was moved around and handed off to other family members the worse I felt. I spent my childhood being more mature than most of the adults in it. Caring for my younger sister and trying to keep the peace between my parents. I always have known that those experiences helped to shape me to be who I am. Oddly enough I was always thankful to have gone through all of the rough stuff I had, because I liked me. That is until recently. It is like I have hit this brick-wall that will not allow me to go further until I turn around and face the things I have spent so much energy running from and pushing down. The things I was once ok with I am now finding are hindering me. Can you imagine? I feel like a wounded animal who keeps licking their wound trying to find relief, and by doing so I am just making it worse. My "issues" are the chains that bind me, and I can't seem to find a key to the lock. I am sure that just dealing with these things will help to unlock lots of the chains, but I feel like this is just not the time for all of this to be happening. I have my little girl to worry about now. I need to be strong for her. But the more that I fight to be strong the weaker I feel. 

And now I feel like this is too much for a blog. Thank you for reading this far. I guess I am just trying to learn what life is trying to teach me. Maybe I need a tutor? 

A quick one until later

I haven't posted in a few days, and I thought maybe I should get on it! Today was a fairly long day filled with house cleaning and laundry...you know, the fun stuff. I felt like a crack head running around vacuuming any speck of anything. I guess you could say I needed an outlet.

Christmas is fast approaching and I still have to BEGIN my shopping.. I have gotten a few things here and there as far as stocking stuffers, but nothing major. I don't even know where to start. I will be working on a very limited budget, so I think I am going to have to be pretty creative. I may do cookies for some people and beyond that I am not sure. If I had the time- or energy for that matter, I would do cute little scrapbooks for the Grandmas in my life, but time is short... Maybe just some framed Kyleigh pictures will do the trick? Everyone is always telling me they need new ones.

As I write this blog, my child (who should be sleeping) is pointing to various parts of my laptop saying "Uts dis?" Haha she is definitely in the curious stage. She wants to know what everything is, and once you tell her she will go around in hunt for "OH! Mooorre!" I love teaching her things and showing her new parts of the world. Her new favorite are all of the Missmiss (Christmas) lights. As I do my usual running around I try to go ultra slow next to all of the lit up houses to let her ohh and ahh at them. She just can't get enough!

Well speaking of having enough, it is far past bed time so I need to wrangle up this crazy girl and put her in bed! Hope everyone is doing well!

P.S. I am proud to say that I am still going strong with my anti-facebook challenge!! Yay!

It just wouldn't die!

So, today I was talking to my friend about how I had deleted my Facebook account and he tells me that it still showed up on his account as active. ??? I guess they don't want you to go so they give you several "deactivations" to think about it. Well I win this time Facebook! Hahaha! 

I finally am getting sound sleep again (at least in the past two days). The past couple of weeks I have been sleeping 3, maybe 4, hours a night and it just was not enough. I discovered that this was because essentially I was doing too much and chasing my tail so much that it was starting to overrule everything. No more of that. I can only do what I can do, and I have to learn to be happy with that. 

Went for a walk tonight, and it was nice. I have been talking to more people about the fact I go walking at night and they have successfully rendered me paranoid about it. The whole time I was out tonight I kept looking over my shoulder and all around like a crazy person. But it is better to be safe than sorry! Needless to say, tonight we were safe and not sorry! :o) Little one fell asleep with her warm bottle of milk (Yes, I said bottle. Yes, I know she is 18 months old and shouldn't have one, but that is for a whole other post). When we got home I decided to take some Mommy time and write in my journal, which eventually lead to the post you are  now reading. 

This is a walk photo from a couple of weeks ago when it was much warmer! She is in love with her stroller! Tonight when I put her in she put her arms behind her head and got all comfy! Cutest thing ever!! 

Tomorrow I am going on a little girl stocking mission. I have my daughter and my roommates daughter who need stockings and I have it in my head that they will have the perfect Princess ones! :o) I am so excited to see Kyleigh's face on Christmas, since this is the first one she will actually understand more of what is happening! 

Well I think it is time to get some rest for my mission tomorrow! Have a good day all! :o)

What?! No Facebook?? Is hell frozen??

So, after thinking about this for about a week, I have decided that I will be deactivating my Facebook account for a while (goal: 2011!). I think I am on the thing way too much (and I am sure my family would agree), so it is time to refocus on what is important in my life. It is time to focus 100% on my daughter and myself. I am on a very intense journey of getting to know myself.. This is very necessary.

I want to understand why I do the things I do, and how to break patterns in my life that I am unhappy with.  I want to re-focus on the positive in my life and learn to appreciate what I have. I will always strive for more, but I don't want to let myself feel like I have to "keep up with the Jones." This is another reason for deleting the Facebook. Is it really necessary to have all of these friends on there that I don't speak to in "real life"? I don't think so.

Well on to the fun stuff. :o)

I am now a brunette for the first time in my life! I am loving it!

Kyleigh has started doing this little thing where I ask her "Are you the cutest little girl ever?" and she replies "Ever!" I love it! She cracks me up with the things she says, and at 19 months she is starting to say a lot! She points to everything and either tells me what it is or asks me what it is. She is so smart! She is my "big helper" no matter what chore I am doing she will come up and say "I hep yhuu" If I am sweeping she points to the little pile and says "EEEWWW duhhrrteee"

I think that is enough for now! I imagine I will be on here much more now that I won't have a Facebook!

Good things are going to happen, I am going to make them!

Lately I have been feeling a little under the weather emotionally so I decided that I was going to try working out to help release some of those feel good endorphins! My favorite mode of exercise has always been running, so I figured at least going for a nightly walk would be a good way to start. I have a hand-me-down jogging stroller (I love it and am so thankful to have it!) so I take the princess with me. It has now been a whopping 2 nights LOL, but each night she falls fast asleep bundled up in the stroller, and I get some guilt-free Mommy time to clear my mind.

Tonight I felt overly ambitious so when I got home I took advantage of my step-dad's weight bench and workout knowledge. I did sit-ups and push-ups, and it felt great!! I know I will be feeling the soreness from it, but I hope to be feeling happiness from it too! :)

Otherwise not much new is going on. Just trying to get things settled and under control on so many levels! It is all in the eye of the beholder, and I have to just see the silver lining in it all! :)

I hope everyone has a good night!

Here we go!

I have been thinking about a blog on and off for a while now, and finally decided to go for it. I am not totally sure what to write about or even how this works, so please be patient with me while I navigate this. =)

I suppose I can start off by telling you a bit about myself? I am a single mother of one amazing little girl! Kyleigh is 18 months old, and the best thing that has ever happened to me! She is a very bright and caring little one and she amazes me more all the time. I think that she was born dancing, because if you put on any type of music with a beat that she likes she is squirming all over! Even strapped tightly in her car seat she is doing as much dancing as she can! She also loves reading. Her favorite books at the moment are anything Dora the Explorer related!

Currently I am attending Heald College, going for an AAS in Medical Office Administration and I plan on getting a second AAS in Medical Assisting as well. I know that Heald will not be the end point in my education, but it was the best option for my situation now. If things go as planned, I should be done with the first part of my Heald experience in July! I am very excited to finally make some tangible progress with schooling!